


Algernon, Patient Zero

by audreycritter



Series: Cor Et Cerebrum [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Jay - Freeform, Spin-Off, The rat returns, algernon - Freeform, dev - Freeform, rat!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 06:02:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8193013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreycritter/pseuds/audreycritter
Summary: A spin-off short to go with Developmental Milestones. Jason, Algernon the rat, and Dev. And maybe some tacos!





	

Jason paces back and forth in the apartment, glaring occasionally at the cage in the corner of the living room. He puffs angrily at a cigarette, clenching his jaw when he pulls the smoking stick away from his mouth.

He grinds it out in an ashtray on the table, right next to a pamphlet about nicotine patches, one of the many that one of his brothers keeps leaving at his apartment. He doesn't know who and hasn't bothered fingerprinting them yet, but he might soon, because it's getting annoying as hell.

After another two trips back and forth across the apartment sans cigarette, he hears the pounding of feet on the stairs outside and he flings open the door before there's a knock.

Dr. Devabhaktuni is just on the top stair, out of breath, with a medkit slung over his shoulder.

“What's wrong?” he asks, panting, looking Jason over.

Jason grabs his arm and pulls him into the apartment.

“Algernon is sick,” he says, running a hand through his hair and looking toward the cage. “I don't know what the frak is wrong.”

Dev freezes in the small entrance, marked out on the floor by a square of vinyl.

“The rat,” says flatly, “is ill.”

“Yes!” Jason snaps. “Fuck! What did I literally just say?”

“Your text said, ‘911 hurry very sick.’” Dev says, dropping the medkit to the floor.

“Well, I don't know!” Jason throws his arms in the air. “He doesn't want to move! He won't drink anything!”

Dev puts a hand to his face and sighs.

“Jay--”

“Wait, did you think I meant me?” Jason turns to him, a shocked expression on his face. “Why the hell would I text that? Why wouldn't I call?”

Jason can feel Dev studying his face and then Dev sighs again.

“You know, I’m just going to let this one go.”

“Do the others text you about emergencies?” Jason demands, distracted now. “Because that's gorram idiotic.”

“I once got a text from Timothy that said ‘I think I've severed my arm off; please help.’ And he'd typed it one-handed,” Dev says, crouching to unzip the medkit.

“Well, had he?” Jason asks.

Dev looks up at him with a stupefied expression.

“Bloody hell, does he have just one arm now? The last you saw him?”

“I mean, had he almost? Did you reattach it?” Jason presses with an irritated tone.

“I am flattered you think so highly of my abilities, but no, it had gone numb from a blow to the nerve. Where’s Algie?”

Jason points to the cage, tapping his foot against the carpet and crossing his arms now that his distraction has slipped away.

Dev crosses the room and peers inside the cage. He prys the little wire door open and reaches in for the rat. It sits a little listlessly on his hand, sniffing around slowly. Dev holds it close to his face.

“Respiratory infection,” he says. “And this pine bedding is shite, mate. Do you’ve newspapers?”

“What am I? Sixty?” Jason asks, but even he can hear that he sounds more nervous than angry. “I might have some junk mail fliers though.”

“It's not serious,” Dev tells him, still looking at the rat.

Jason closes his eyes, just for a second, in relief.

“Get the fliers,” Dev says, cradling the rat against his chest with one hand. Algernon lies on his palm, nudging at his fingertips.

Over by the door, Jason rummages through a pile of mail and finds a stack of coupons printed on glossy newspaper stock. He carries it over to the cage and then stands with it in his hands, scowling. After a moment he asks, “so, will this work?”

Dev is talking to the rat. He looks up and at the papers.

“Take Algie,” he says, exchanging the rat for the coupons. “And sit down and pay attention.”

Jason sits on the couch and leans back. He lets Algernon sniff around with twitching whiskers and then clean his tiny paws. His anger is dissipating before he even realizes that it wasn’t anger he was feeling.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he says quietly, as Dev pulls on a pair of gloves.

“Already forgotten,” Dev says, sliding the bottom of the cage out. “Is the rubbish bin in the kitchen?”

Jason directs him to it and then watches Algernon as the rat lifts his nose to the air, shiny and bright. He’s still a little more sluggish than usual. Jason scratches him with the tip of a finger and the rat settles down under his chin. Jason tries not to breathe too deeply or move.

“Do you see his nose is wet?” Dev asks from the kitchen. He’s bent over the tray, pouring something on it from a bottle. A second later, Jason smells vinegar. Jason can’t quite see because Dev’s back is to him, but it sounds like he’s scrubbing.

“Yeah,” Jason says defensively. “So?”

“It’s a sign of respiratory illness. His nose should be dry.”

“Oh,” Jason says, feeling Algernon cuddled against his throat.

“It’s this pine bedding,” Dev says, returning with the tray. He lines it with the coupon paper and slides it back into the cage. “It’s full of dust. I’ll bring ‘round some shredded paper from the lab.”

“Thanks,” Jason says quietly. “I can pay you.”

“You could but I won’t allow it,” Dev says. “I rescued this rat at mild psychological expense and I’ve a vested interested in its care. I’ll bring some antibiotics as well.”

“Are you a vet or a doctor?” Jason asks, laughing. Algernon shifts against him and his laughter cuts off.

“I’m the doctor,” Dev replies. “For all the Waynes, Algie included. And so far, he's the least bloody obstinate of my patients, and I might replace you all.”

“I'm a good patient,” Jason says, narrowing his eyes.

Dev laughs, hard and deep, and climbs back to his feet with Algernon’s water bottle in his hand.

“Jason,” he says, still chuckling, “the last time I had to suture you, we ran out the swear jar. Alfie stopped counting.”

“Damian didn't,” Jason grins. “We were at 137.”

“That's brilliant,” Dev calls from the kitchen. “But you are a sodding poor patient, the point stands.”

“Do you swear like that at the hospital?” Jason asks, genuinely curious and feeling much better knowing Algernon wasn't dying and with the warm fur against his skin.

“Bloody hell, no,” Dev says, coming back with the water. “Sometimes, a bit at the ones being idiots when I feel they can take it, but not most of them. They're already well fragile.”

“I'm not fragile?” Jason asks, blinking. “I'll have you know I have a fucking sensitive heart.”

“The key to which is abrasiveness and acerbic wit,” Dev says, reattaching the water bottle. “Don't try to make me feel sorry for you. It won't bloody work.”

Dev stands and looks down at Jason, who still has Algernon tucked above the neckline hem of his shirt. Dev sits next to him on the couch and pets Algernon with a thumb.

“He's a sodding weird rat,” Dev says. “They're not all such good company.”

“Cass knows,” Jason says. “I don't know how the hell she does it, but she always does.”

“Hm,” Dev says. “Well, I'll come ‘round in a bit with that bedding and some meds. Do you need anything else?”

He stands up and Jason yawns.

“Nah,” Jason says. “I'm super duper peachy.”

“Tacos, then?” Dev says, picking up the medkit. “And another episode of _The Way We Live Now_?”

“I thought you weren't interested,” Jason says suspiciously.

“Well, I’m invested now, aren't I? I have to know if Marie marries Felix after all.”

“You could just read the fricking book,” Jason says, pretending to be more aghast than he actually is.

“I've not time for reading except for professionally,” Dev answers from the doorway. “I've people to sew together and rats to save. Tacos?”

“Carne asada but only if you get them from the place on Vermont,” Jason says.

“Your neo-nazis chased me away from the fish shop,” Dev retorts. “I can't go anywhere else now.”

“My neo-nazis?” Jason yells as the door closes.

Algernon wakes up and scrambles down his chest. Jason puts him back in the cleaned cage and throws the rest of the pine bedding away.

The door reopens and Dev ducks his head back in.

“And stop throwing those sodding nicotine patch pamphlets away; I've nearly run out.”

The door slams shut.

“You've smoked with me!” Jason yells again at the door but there's no answer. He looks over at Algernon, who is up and lapping water from the inverted metal straw.

He grins.


End file.
